Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
