come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
