and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize