I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
