i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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