Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize