She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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