life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
