2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
