so let's talk penis.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
