Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
