sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
