I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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