the condom got lost in my hair
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
