So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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