we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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