Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
