At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize