no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
