saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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