oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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