i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
