He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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