I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
