I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I am mentally ready for anal.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
