Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
