I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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