there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
