I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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