Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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