WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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