I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
