I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
