I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
