WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There's always time for handjobs
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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