Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
