god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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