Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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