Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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