I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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