Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
