let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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