I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
