The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
