MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Boobs are out for the taking
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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