You really coming over, don't trick.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize