I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
