It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
