What did we do last night that was yellow?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
