Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We had sex on a dog bed..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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