once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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