Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
