We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
