exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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