i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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