just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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