My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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