Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
