the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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