Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Are we still banned from the library?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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