Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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