I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
