arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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