bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am naked and annoyed.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
